Ships (of the friend kind)

Making friends is hard.

Meeting people and having a chat is easy enough, especially online, but developing a connection that goes a bit deeper is a whole other struggle.

Cause I can be friendly with most people and I think it's really good to have a varied set of acquaintances, people that are very different from you, people you have very little in common with but with whom you can still have a conversation. It keeps your mind flexible, builds your tolerance and expands your soul, making you more capable of love and finding inner peace. You learn to live and let live.

But truth is, there's very few people I actually click with. And it sucks, honestly. Especially when I do find someone I could potentially become good friends with, but I don't spark in them the same interest they spark in me, so they're not available to put in the effort.

I don't know, maybe the same could be said in reverse, maybe there have been people out there who felt we could be friends and I gave them the cold shoulder cause I didn't vibe back with them.

I also feel that people these days are too focused on themselves, their own life and struggles. Making money to survive takes more and more effort, energy and time. It sucks you up and drains you. 

But that's an excuse. And also a consequence of this modern mentality, this glorification of individualism. We've lost the sense of community, of doing something for others instead of ourselves. This idea that we own no one anything and we must stand on our own two feet and be self sufficient and fuck everyone who doesn't agree with you or opposes your views. Cut off all the toxic people! Burn bridges! Who cares! You matter! But no one else does, apparently. And look at us. Each trapped in their own lives and struggles, feeling lonely and no longer knowing how to reach out and relate to others.

Oof. I'm in a mood, guys. I have to admit, I've been feeling frustrated with my friendship attempts.

In other news, it's my birthday week! And the forecast predicts A LOT of rain on the actually day. Yay. Good thing I had no plans, anyway. (I'll be celebrating on the weekend, not the actual day)

I might spend the day playing a game. I never do that anymore.

Speaking of which, I've been indulging in fanart ideas again. Maybe I'll revive my Redbubble with it.
I deleted everything fanart related from there a while back. But I've been feeling like indulging in fanart again. I might, for a while. I'm in need of the passion that comes with it.