This year, for me, was supposed to be about experimenting. And I feel like I haven't been doing anything at all. 

Well, there's one thing I experimented with. I turned off my YouTube history. 

I spend way too much time on Youtube. There's always something playing in the background. Sometimes music, sometimes someone playing something, sometimes someone making something. And sometimes I'm just wasting time looking for something to watch without even know what to look for. 

So I turned off the history, so that I don't get tempting suggestions on the side, but also to see different things cause Youtube won't remember what I like so it won't suggest more of the same.

I figured, if Youtube became less interesting for me, I'd waste less time there. And if it stopped suggesting the same kind of things over and over, I'd might actually find something new to watch.

Turns out having the history off is even worse. Cause the suggestions are so off from my interests that I get annoyed just looking at them. And now I don't know what I've already watched or not. If I was walking around in big circles around my interests before, now I'm walking in tighter circles that I don't even care about. 

As I'm writing this, I've turned history back on. I never thought I'd be praising the algorithm, but there's something to be said about curating your experience. The algorithm isn't so bad when you can make good use of it.

Another experiment I want to try is posting on some day that isn't Monday. Maybe Wednesdays? I think Mondays aren't ideal and I've said that from the start, but I ended up falling into that schedule and getting used to it. 

Then again, it will probably make no difference at all. I've been feeling like everything is pointless, lately. Like I'm just screaming into the void. Bahhhhh.

Also considering if I should keep trying Substack or just give up on that. I kinda like it here more, to be honest. I guess that's another thing I can experiment with - put Substack on a break and see how I feel about it.

I'm not quite here

Oh Hi! Did you miss me?

I've been in a mood. Not a bad one, just not in a writing mood. Interestingly though, I've been pretty social online, very blah blah blah. But chatting and writing something down are different things. 

Anyway. 

Since I don't have much to say or the ability to be eloquent at the moment, I'll just share some pages of my journal. When I don't know what to write, I draw and decorate the pages. I never know what to draw but always come up with something. Sometimes more simple, sometimes more messy... and sometimes I really don't like the result! Thankfully it doesn't happen much. Here are some of the most recent.

Bits and Bobs of scrambled thoughts

I've been having fun putting bits and bobs together. No, really! 

Here's Bits!

And here's Bobs!

They're so weird, I love them! 

I have so many pictures in my hard drive to play with. SO MANY. I'll never use them all, I don't know why I *have* to keep them all. But I keep them all. Cause I don't trust the internet to always have them there for me. I don't trust the internet to always work. Not that I have much reason for that these days. It's an old habit, if I see something I like, I keep it. Who knows if I'll ever find it again! (I mean, even if it's in my own archive, I might never find it again, let's be honest)

And just the other day I've collected some more. Some underwater stuff. I'm yet unsure what to make with them, but my next big collage might be an underwater scene. 

I also want to make...notebooks?? You know, design the pages, make them into printables, actually print them and assemble some notebooks myself. Maybe make some fun pockets here and there. And then the hard part. Selling them. *shudders* 

I need a sales person. Someone who can be excited about selling my stuff. Then I just have to make them! That's the dream of every artist, I'll bet.

Ok, I'm rambling now. I didn't have much to say today, I'll admit.

So I'll leave you with some music. It's a place I've been hanging around lately. 

Video Game Music Radio

Video game music has ruined me. I no longer enjoy "normal" music. Ok, that's an exaggeration, I still like some stuff, but most of it is what I already know from years ago. I'm much more resistant to new music if there's a voice singing. 

I'm here thinking, oh, I could turn this into a thing and always finish my weekly post by sharing some music, that could be fun! ...Watch me completely forget about it next week. I just know how it goes. lol So, no promises, but this might become a thing. 

Stick with me!

Last week I said I would upload all my stickers to Redbubble. And that I would make one or two more out of my most recent artwork. 

And guess what, on an unexpected turn of events... 

I actually did it! Aren't you proud of me? =D

Look at these, I have so many already! [insert Kylo Ren gif]

I love making these. I think I like it even more than making a whole image! They're fun bits I can add anywhere! Colorful bite-sized collages!

I uploaded them all on Redbubble, but I also a Threadless shop as well! I'll be uploading everything there, but one piece a day. So that will take a bit. 

There were supposed to only be stickers, but they look pretty good on t-shirts too, honestly. And on a few other things as well. So even though I made a collection called "Fun Stickers Only!", they're actually available as more that just stickers, ahah.

I'm super excited to make more! But also to get back to paper. I found something nice to play in the background while I work - I've been watching a fellow on Youtube discovering the Tales series, starting with Tales of Symphonia. I love his enthusiasm, and clearly he liked the series cause he's on his third Tales game now! It's always a joy to see someone discovering, enjoying, exploring and falling in love with something you also discovered, enjoyed, explored and fell in love with. That's the kind of Let's Play I like to watch! So I'm happy to have found someone who will be keeping me company for quite a while!

[Note to self: make a separate post just for two new stickers, cause they deserve it!]