This week has been... well, I'm sure it has been, but I barely remember it. Life has been getting in the way of getting things done. I mean, usually it's me getting in the way of myself, so it's really frustrating when I feel good and focused and then life laughs in my face and says no, not today either.
But hey! I'm going to a D&D one shot this Wednesday, so that's nice! I hope it will be nice... I'm both excited and dreading it, as I usually do. It's a thing I signed up for, I don't even know who else is participating. And I've also been with this constant nagging on the back of my mind, what is if I forget about it? What if Wednesday comes and I forget it's Wednesday? What if I forget I have to leave at 5PM?
I know I won't forget, cause I have been thinking about it constantly! Chill, brain. Please.
This Christmas tree is coming out of the box today. I think. I have zero interest in get it done. Even though I think there's a good side to the tradition, to maintain a connection to the world around me, to celebrate the little things and have something to look forward to. But I don't look forward to Christmas, that's the problem. I don't hate it, I don't dread it, I just don't feel it at all. It just feels like and obligation. It does feel like to have an excuse to gather our favorite people and have a nice afternoon/night together. But we do that frequently anyway, so Christmas is just another date.
Ok, how about this? I'm gonna try to fake it until I make it. Fake the enthusiasm - or rather, look for it deep deep down in my childhood memories - until I feel something. I do like the lights, so I'll start there, I guess, and then try to build it up some more. Sounds like a plan. Maybe I'll take a picture and show you next week!
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